Quotes that I like

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchhill

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. Winston Churchhill

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot. Mark Twain

What is history but a fable agreed upon. Napolean Bonaparte.

I have learned that people will forget what you said; people will forget what you did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go. Abraham Lincoln

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. Confucius

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. Woody Allen.

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. Dave Berry

If you want to know how stupid people really are, just think how stupid the average person is and realize that half of them are stupider. George Carlin.

It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. Knebel's Law.

Some things have to be believed to be seen. Ralph Hodgson

Justice and the law are remote cousins French proverb

All saints have a past, and all sinners have a future. Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor confronted Winston Churchhill at a party and said "Winston, you are drunk!" to which he replied "Yes, madam, and you are ugly. The difference is: tomorrow, I shall be sober".

Power that is given to you can be taken away. TRUE power must be seized. Napolean Bonaparte

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money. Will Rogers

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt.

At 50, everyone has the face he deserves. George Orwell

After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box. Italian proverb

I have enough money to last me for the rest of my life, unless I buy something. Jackie Mason

It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom,. Rodney Dangerfield

Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. George S. Patton

Suppose you were a congressman, and suppose you were an idiot. But, I repeat myself. Mark Twain

All my life, I have wanted to be someone. I guess I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

My girlfriend is weird. She asked me, "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, then forget it." Stephen Wright

When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. (The Picture of Dorian Gray). Oscar Wilde

Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. Groucho Marx

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining? George Wallace.

I'll moider da bum. Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. Jason Kidd upon being drafted to the Dallas Mavericks

You can do more with a kind word and a gun than you can do with a kind word alone. Al Capone

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I will waste no time reading it. Moses Hadas

Never interrupt your enemy while he is making a mistake. Napolean Bonaparte

Black holes are where God divided by zero. Stephen Wright

I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln

This isn't right, this isn't even wrong! Wolfgang Pauli, upon reading a young physicist's paper

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. Wernher Von Braun

I think it would be a good idea. Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western Civilization

I married beneath me. All women do. Lady Nancy Astor

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Carrie Fisher

Morality, like art, means drawing a line somewhere. Oscar Wilde

They got us surrounded, the poor bastards. Soldier with the 101st Airborne, Bastogne (Battle of the Bulge, WWII)

There are three kinds of people. Those that can count, and those that can't.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

Don't use a big word when a diminutive one will do.

Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Forty-two percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

If you go to a bookstore and ask a salesperson where the self-help section is, doesn't that defeat the purpose?

Drugs have helped teach an entire generation of American kids the metric system.